still alive ! ... again, and again ...

    well, contrary to recent episodes, I AM still alive ! ... but, a lot has been going on since my last post ...

   my last few attempts to enter a new post were blocked, evidently because I was using a wifi connection from my hospital room ... it had objection to my 'server', so that's my best guess ... back home now, it's working for me again ...

   every month I have a general checkup with my cancer Dr., run blood labs, and get an 'Xgeva' shot ... 'Xgeva' is a very expensive shot that does a pretty good job of preventing the cancer from further invasion into bones ... I previously had a large cancer tumor that had eaten away most of the femur, to the point of it close to breaking the rest of the way ... now, I have a titanium rod from hip to knee, to reinforce it ... the '6 Million $$ Man', haha ... 

    anyway, after the appointment, I went to the local COSTCO store, where I get my prescriptions filled, they are WAY cheaper than anyone else around here (for example, they charge me less than $40 per month for my morphine pills, compared to other pharmacies that are anywhere from $120 - $250 for the identical scrip), it's just crazy how much the prices vary ...

   since it's a narcotic drug, I have to 'walk' the prescription in, it can't be faxed, etc., so after driving out to my Dr. for the papers, I have to drive back to COSTCO, and wait while they fill it ...

   I arrived at COSTCO feeling just fine, I have been in very good condition lately, but I still wait and grab one of the little electric carts they provide for us cripples ... after dropping off my scrip at the pharmacy window, I ride back to the stacks of bottled water, and lift a couple large bundles into the front basket of the cart ... while they are pretty heavy, I felt no discomfort lifting them in, and returned to the pharmacy desk ...

   about 1/2 way there, suddenly it was like I was stabbed in the area of my right kidney (or, where my kidney WAS, as it was removed a few years ago, victim of a large cancer tumor), man it HURT ! ya hear me ? ... BADASS  PAIN is the best way to describe it, like a big hunting knife was plunged into my back ... it flat took the wind out of me, and I was doubled over on the cart ... someone came up and asked if I was all right ... 

   naturally, so as to not sully my Superman rep, I said "I'm OK", and drove on ...

   getting near the pharmacy counter, it hit again, and this time, when someone asked if I was OK, I said, "I'm gonna need an ambulance" ... to hell with this Superman crap ! ... 

   maybe it was a Kryptonite knife ??

   thank God, it seemed like the ambulance got there instantly, and took me to Enloe Hospital in Chico, CA ...

   there I spent the next 8 days in Intensive Care, while a tumor in my adrenal gland was bleeding internally ... that was the cause of the pain, they said ... I'm guessing when I lifted the cases of bottled water into the cart, the strain must have burst the tumor ...
   emergency surgery was performed to place a stent in some artery feeding the kidney, I guess ... the theory was the increased blood flow may clot quicker, and slow the bleeding ... or, I would quickly be dead ...

   with the bleeding probably slowed, I was kept in Intensive Care for 8 days, where they treated me very well, Enloe Hospital was a very good place for me to be, no doubt about it ...

   after I was considered stable, I was sent to Paradise, CA's Feather River Hospital Hospice ... Feather River Hospital, you may remember, is the most hated medical facility I have ever in my life been subject to ... and, I've been in a LOT of hospitals ...

   just to be clear, the regular hospital part isn't too bad, (I give it a 5), but their Emergency Ward division is a disgrace that seriously needs to be shut down ... that's not just my opinion, there have been a few Doctors on staff there over the years, that have made efforts to clean it up, but never followed through ... 

   that brings us to their Hospice ... the Feather River Hospice is a strong 11 on a scale of 10 ! ... they are priceless , and the Doctor in charge of the Hospice, a Dr. An, is a wonderful man, human being, and Doctor ! ... truly, I cannot say enough good things about them in general, and Dr. An in particular ...

   I was in their Hospice unit, a separate facility altogether, it is several blocks away from the hospital on their own grounds, etc. ... it has 6 rooms, 6 terminal patients at a time, with around the clock care that is second to none ... I was there for 3 weeks, 22 days, I think ...

   feeling I was once again stable, I was released to go home for in-home hospice care ... when signing me out, Dr. An told me I was admitted from Enloe with a prognosis to be dead in 2-3 days ... I was unaware of this at the time (I mean, they could have just asked me, hahaha) ... actually, I have felt a LOT worse before, and survived, so that surprised me ...

   now, I am once again home, living with my wonderful, loyal and reliable girlfriend of over 12 years, and she takes super care of me ... (from Superman, to Super Care !) ... 

   I've been home just over a week, now ... I haven't been out of bed much, as I'm a bit wobbly, and the last thing I need, is to fall on my ass ! ... 

   I'm on a morphine pump that supplies me constantly, plus a button for an extra burst if needed ... also I'm on methadone, which is a pill ... we are slowly reducing the morphine dosage while raising the methadone dosage, to hopefully get me off the pump, and onto the pills ... much more convenient, it's a drag with these hoses and wires dangling off me ... 

   I'm doing real well so far, the methadone relieves the pain and leaves me much more clear-headed, while the morphine makes me dopey and stupid (now I know how Liberals must feel) ...

                ********************

   a couple days ago the Pastor of my church volunteered to help me sell my dear van, 'Lucille2', my prized toy, I loved that van ! ... I said when I bought it, it would be the last vehicle I'd ever own, how's that for accuracy ? 

   after driving it to town, he called me up, and said he wanted to buy it ! ... I can't tell you how happy I am to have him wind up with her, as I was sick with the thought of selling my beloved van to a stranger ... friends that know me, know how seriously I took the maintenance of my van ... while I am a slacker when it comes  to waxing and polishing (stupid, I know, it's like cosmetics come second to maintenance with me), I do my best to help them run forever, I can't afford to buy replacements, ya know ? ... it's sure been a great truck, just turned 80,000 miles, almost all highway, and never abused ...       never, ever ...

   I prayed for a long time for the Lord to help me sell my van, as the proceeds from it are all I have to leave to my girlfriend ... she certainly deserves it, just for the way she has stood by me, and all she has put up with ... and, truth be known, she hasn't even gotten to the really bad part yet ... it's no fun watching your loved ones die of cancer ...

   true to form, HE has taken care of me again ... again and again, throughout my life, I have dodged death and tragedy, with no other explanation except for the Lord's protective love of me ... I will always be safe, always cared for, and He has a plan for me that I trust in completely ... I couldn't be more serious about that ...

   as usual, my simple 'post' has turned into a novel, so I'll try to pick it up again, later ...

                         ******************

   I'll keep trying to post the day-to-day adventures of a dying wildman, hopefully I won't encounter any more difficulties signing in, etc. ...  we'll see ...

   

DO IT ON YOUR OWN TIME !

   yesterday, Sunday football really saddened me ... while normally I am excited to watch my Chicago Bears play horrible football, (led by one of the NFL's most inept coaches), yesterday was just plain depressing ...

   yeah, it's only my opinion, and football players definitely have the right to protest, bitch, or whine, whatever they want to call it, but dammit, DO IT ON YOUR OWN TIME !

   I'm just an old truckdriver with opinions that matter to no one but me, but I would like to watch a damned football game, without having to see overpaid, multimillionaire jackasses showing disrespect to our country's anthem and flag ...

   while they get paid millions to blow out their knees and damage what usually barely qualifies as a brain, our armed forces lay their lives on the line for these clowns' 'right to protest' ...

   by the way, the NFL is the only major sport that does not require in writing that the players will stand for the anthem,      only Roger Goodell's chickensh*t mis-management of the NFL permits this disgrace to continue ... not familiar with Goodell ?, just look in the dictionary under 'greed', his photo should be there ...

   the players absolutely have a 'right to protest' whatever they want (no matter how ridiculous), but DO IT ON YOUR OWN TIME ! 

   if I parked my truck to join in a public demonstration of any kind, my ass would have been fired on the spot ... 
   matter of fact, back in the 1970's it wasn't uncommon for attempted 'trucker strikes' to pop up here and there (in the old days when truckers had a set of balls) ... of course, our employers made it clear our jobs were trashed if we participated ... 

   they told us " if you want to protest something, fine, but DO IT ON YOUR OWN TIME ! " ...

   I'm not sure exactly what my Bears were thinking - while none of the Bears players took a knee or otherwise disgraced themselves, they did stand together with arms locked, etc. ... 

   not sure if that was just a different way to protest, or what, but I miss the days when the only football controversy was whether or not the running back stepped out of bounds ...

   'da Bears' won quite the upset over the Pittsburgh Steelers, an overtime victory that stunned everyone ... 
   BUT, I couldn't enjoy watching it, it didn't give me any good feelings, because the mood was already ruined by the stupidass protesters ... the Steelers stayed in their locker room, not coming out for the anthem ...

   ONE Steeler came back out to the field to stand for the anthem ... Steeler Alejandro Villanueva, a 3-tour Mideast war veteran, U.S. Army Ranger, and HERO in my mind, returned to the field to honor his country ... he caught hell from Pittsburgh's Head Coach Tomlin for doing that, which is also pathetic ...

   I suppose none of this really matters, as I don't base my moral standards on what some spoiled 'football player with a college degree in jockstrap design' has to say ...

   there is not one single person in the USA that doesn't already have rights guaranteed him by the law, so people, remember the soldiers that died to guarantee our rights, and GET OVER YOURSELVES ! 

                  ***************

   in other non-news, I am doing OK, considering ... I am now just over one year past my 'expiration date', and I'm beginning to feel it more ... 

   while I still am blessed to have only manageable pain so far, I have no energy at all ... my days consist of going from my bed to my recliner, and back ... I need to polish my van up and see about getting it sold, but I just don't have the energy ... 

   my girlfriend takes very good care of me, waiting on me hand and foot, and that just makes me feel worse, knowing how hard she works all day long, only to come home and wait on me ... I do what I can to help out, but it isn't much ...

   in the long run, it's all OK, the Lord has my back, and I really don't have anything to worry about ... 

 

   

still vertical (when awake) ...

   yes, I'm still alive ... in fact, I don't feel too bad for the most part ... most of the reason for that, is I am not currently taking any cancer drugs ... 

   my cancer Dr. pulled me off of the 'Sutent' I was taking, too many side effects ... the Sutent was a LOT easier on me than the 'Votrient' was, however ... the Votrient put me in the Emergency Ward every time I took it, where the Sutent only raised my blood pressure, for the most part ... but when it started making me short of breath (I would wake up gasping, like I just couldn't breathe in enough air, felt like I was suffocating), it was yanked ... anyway, no more Sutent ...

   in a couple weeks, I expect to start taking my third type of oral chemotherapy ... 'Axitinib', it's called ... like the others, it has pages of side effects, and like the Votrient, I'm not supposed to touch the pills with bare hands ... if I was to shake hands with somebody, they could get sick, I guess ...

   can't touch them, but I'm supposed to swallow them twice a day ... go figure ...

   as of last week, I have outlived my 'expiration date' by as much as a year ... September, 2015, I was told I had 12-14 months to live, which was echoed by another cancer specialist last December ...  

   just like me to be stubborn, and not cooperative ... since I have been refusing most of the treatments they recommend, I don't have any problem giving all the credit for my longevity to the Lord ... I've felt better ever since my church prayed for me, and I have several relatives and friends praying for me every day ... that's all appreciated, to be sure ...

   I still have no qualms about dying - I mean, we ALL are gonna take the big dirt nap at some time ... it is just so much easier to handle, when you leave it in the Lord's hands ... 
   maybe just another way for me to shirk responsibility, haha, but I'm comfortable with it ... when my time's up, it's up, and meanwhile I am very happy to report I am not suffering from the typical horrific pain most cancer patients suffer thru ... 

   I am truly grateful that Jesus has so far spared me the worst  physical pain  (it's a good thing, I'm a big sissy when it comes to suffering !) 

                                           ***** 

   I never, ever thought I would be alive for another season of 'da Bears' ! ... unfortunately, the Bears are rebuilding, and while we have added some outstanding players for the future, it's 'their' future, not mine ! ... unless, I continue to puzzle the cancer Docs ... 

   I thought about praying for enough life to get me to another Bears Super Bowl Win, but that's being pretty presumptious ... 
   even knowing God is a Bears fan, I can't presume He has THAT much patience ! ...
    
   'da Bears' started off our BRUTAL 2017 schedule by having to play last year's NFC Champion Atlanta Falcons, the same team that lost last year's Super Bowl to the Patriots ...     

   our schedule is ridiculous - I can't understand how, as BAD as we were in 2016, we would draw the top-shelf teams for this season ... it is really brutal, at least the first several games ...

   nevertheless, the Bears outplayed the Falcons, our Defense kept their #1 Offense from having their way, and our Offense (limited by 'slow-motion Quarterback Mike Glennon') was more than capable enough of beating the Falcons, IF 'da Bears' tired excuse for a Head Coach, John 'Old and Scared' Fox, would have brought in our exceptional rookie Quarterback in the second half ... 
   
   but, he didn't, and we lost 23-17, with a final stand a couple yards from the end zone, with 4 opportunities to score, TWO short touchdown passes were dropped, with our star running back watching the finish from the bench ... great coaching, dimwit !

   meanwhile, rookie QB Mitchell Trubisky is sitting on the bench, supposedly this entire season, to 'learn' ...

   sorry, I don't want to rush a rookie QB into games where his inexperience will get him killed, but there is nothing to 'learn' watching Mike Glennon play ... Glennon plays like he is sleepwalking, everything he does is S-L-O-W ... there is zero enthusiasm to his game ... 

   Trubisky, on the other hand, has an exceptionally quick release, a fast read of the Defenses (for a rookie, anyway), scrambles like a running back, and has a powerful, ACCURATE throwing arm ... he stands in the pocket absolutely fearlessly, then scrambles right or left and launches laser beams to his receivers ... he is exciting to watch, the kid has everything except experience, and he won't get that from watching slo-mo football ... 
   I really hate to give props to a cheddarhead Packer player, but watching Trubisky play, is like watching film of Aaron 'Boy' Rodgers in some of his best plays ... he is really that good ... throwing accurately while on the run is his style, and he is really sharp at it ...

   barring injuries (and Quarterbacking for the Bears can get ya killed), Trubisky looks like a future star - Pro Bowler, Hall of Famer, all of the accolades, he looks that special !

   of course, I won't be here to see it, but y'all will, and remember where ya heard it first ! 

  

future star Mitchell Trubisky signs with 'da Bears'

   ok, now that I got this out of the way, I can go back to sleep ! ... I sleep a LOT these days, sometimes in bed, usually in the recliner, but either way, I'm not up and around much ...

   gotta be rested up for the Big Sleep, right ?

  

hard week ...

   still alive, still holding a vertical position, but it hasn't been as easy the last few days ... I'm still blessed by not having a lot of pain, just the usual arthritis & muscle aches ... amazing how I can lose all my muscles, but they still hurt, you'd think that would lessen ...
  
   my newest hassle, the last few weeks I have trouble getting my breath, I wake up gasping ... I'm able to breathe deeply, it just seems like I'm not getting enough oxygen ... sitting up helps my breathing a bit, so I try to sleep sitting up, which of course, means I wake up with a sore neck ... 

   this whole 'dying process' kinda sucks, no wonder some people try anything to postpone it ! 

   I'm not the type to 'give up', neither am I the type to try 'cures' out of desperation ... the whole 'fighting cancer' concept is so foreign to me, I can't understand the reasoning ... 
   if your idea of 'fighting cancer' means major surgeries and one drug after another, (that don't cure, but only postpones death), then we're not on the same page ...

   tomorrow, dental surgery to remove a broken molar, then, next week another CT-scan, to check out the progress of my adrenal gland tumor ... my next appointment with my cancer Dr. is the week after that ... he is going to offer me some chemotherapy to try to stall the cancer ...  

   I was originally told there is no chemotherapy that is effective against my type of cancer, and unless this is some new, miraculous wonder drug, I won't allow it ... I have no interest in spending my last days with my head in a wastebasket ... 

   to my way of thinking, that's not 'giving up', that's dying with a bit of dignity, and trusting the Lord to take care of the rest ...

   I spent my life as I pleased, I pretty much did it all on my own terms, and I don't blame anyone else for any of my screw-ups, I did it all of my own will ...

   as I like to say, " I spent the first half of my life raising Hell, and the last half trying to escape it " ... that pretty well sums it up ...

   OK, enough of the serious stuff, now, back to the 'last road trip' ... after driving thru a beautiful stretch of Utah's I-70, I entered Colorado ... 

stormy weather heading in

   Colorado not being one of my favorite states, I seldom take many photos, I pretty much concentrate on just getting thru it, without spending any money there ... too many Yuppies, Millennials, Liberals, and otherwise useless individuals ...
   (why not bring back the military Draft, so the young punks can grow up, before dumping them on the rest of us ?) ... America has gotten so soft, but I really don't want to go there, now ... (end of short rant)

   entering the Free state of Kansas, it's good to be back in Middle America, where I love to stop, take pictures, and even spend a few bucks, before moving on ... I like states like Kansas ...

a clean, quiet Kansas rest area - nap time !

 

 

   after a couple more days of dragging my feet, and napping often, I arrived in Peoria, where I was welcomed by my family, and there in the yard, was my dear Sybil !

doesn't she look great ?!!

   I had a real nice visit with my sister and her family, as always they made me feel very welcome, and I love them all ... I suppose they think I use them as a motel while I visit my Sybil, but that's really not the case, I love being there, and worry about them constantly (Peoria, IL is no Disneyland) ... their life is like everyone else's, 'everybody gets their time in the barrel' ...

Sybil still remembers the old Geezer

    but, they have Sybil to protect them now ! no worries 
  

slowing down ...

   these posts are coming further and further apart, I know ... my energy level is dropping like a rock these last few weeks, so, it "is what it is" ... doing my best ...

   on my way east, old route 50 takes me thru Delta, Utah, and going thru town, I noticed an old structure on my left, so I drove around the block to get a closer look ... (I like old buildings for photo subjects) ...

   my best guess is that this old, old building is being restored, possibly by the owners of the house directly in front of it ... an odd pairing of old and new, I thought ...

Delta, UT

     driving on, route 50 intersects with one of the prettiest stretches of Interstate highway in the nation, Utah's I-70 heading towards the Colorado state line ...  

I-70 west of Green River, UT

    Utah had the sense to build several parking areas with great views, all along the highway for many miles ... 
   while there are semi-trucks in these photos, big trucks usually don't run I-70 out west for a couple reasons ... 

   first, I-70 is considered too risky for modern-day truckdrivers, to be blunt ... the steep grades and tight curves can be too risky for " learned how to drive in a 2-week classroom course " drivers ...

   second, the altitude changes can destroy some types of freight ... one company I drove for had a contract with Phillips Corp., and we had an entire truckload of their light-bulbs explode going over a pass ... when the driver opened the rear doors upon delivery, every bulb and lamp was in fragments ... whoops, $$$ ...

   another outfit I worked for was the core carrier for Schwan's ice cream, we supplied all their depots ... one time we had a partial loss while hauling a load for them over the Divide ...  how was ice cream damaged by altitude ?

   part of the load was what Schwan's calls 'novelties', (their  rocket-shaped ice cream in a cardboard tube) was the primary victim, and the little 'ice cream cups' came next ... after going over the pass, they had all 'popped their corks', and even the regular packaged ice cream was swelled up, so our drivers were forced to take a much longer route from that point on ... 

   so much for 'truck trivia',

   next:  on to Colorado and Kansas

home after road trip ...

   I have returned ! ... actually, I got back home to northern Kalifornia about a week ago ... it all went pretty well ...

   I took my time going out and returning, resting whenever I got tired or bored ... fact is, I would have postponed my return trip by a few more days, but I just couldn't handle the heat whenever I wasn't driving ... the van has a good a/c in it, but when it came time to lie down, it was just too much ...

   I was hoping to get a lot more photos than what I did, but the unusually hot June weather was so withering, I shot at least a few photos right from the driver's seat - quickly lowering and raising my window so my air conditioner wouldn't have to catch back up ...

   anyway, as long as I was driving, I felt great - I joked to my doctor, if I didn't have to climb in and out of the van to gas up, I could do this every day ! 

   Nevada's old US Route 50, of 'America's Loneliest Highway' fame, was uncharacteristically well-traveled this trip ... not exactly rush hour, but cars were driving by every few minutes ...

a 'wildlife viewing area' west of Ely, NV

   more to come,
 

road trip ambitions ...

   still alive, still antsy to travel, roll down the road, whatever it takes to just DO something for a change ...

   luckily, I am still blessed with 'cancer without much pain', and I am now 6-8 months past my 'Expiration Date', 'Use By Date', etc. ...
  
   I can't complain, (yet), I know I am fortunate to still be alive, and able to function so far ... I really feel for cancer sufferers that are enduring a living hell, I will always remember my old man, and how tough he was as he wasted away ... not a complaint or a whine, he was a hundred times the man I am, or ever will be ... you are truly missed, Dad ...

   I quit my cancer meds a week ago, so I am regaining energy, and feeling a little bit stronger every day ... I'll need that energy, as I am hitting the road in a coupla days, driving back to Illinois to see my family, and Sybil, 'one last time' ... seems like this is about the 4th 'one last time', but I can't help it if I'm still vertical ...

   the trip seems to be do-able at this time, I'm really more concerned about the return trip ... any health incidents on the road could be disastrous, financially, anyway ... I need to get back here before I keel over, so my van can be sold ... the van money will be all I have to leave my girlfriend, so an abandoned van in the middle of nowhere won't help her much ...

   I don't know how much good it will do, but I'll have a signed letter in the van, to request whatever local Ford dealer to tow it in, and keep it safe until it can be sold or retrieved for return to Kalifornia - whichever is more feasible ... I left the signed Title to it in the safe here at home, to make it all easier ...

   but, being the stubborn jerk that I am, I'll likely just stay alive and drive it back here, myself ... some people just don't know when to lie down and give up, I guess ... 

just sayin'

   I'm lucky my girlfriend understands, when people ask what in the world I'm thinking of, to take off on a long trip in my shape, she knows me well enough to answer "he's a truckdriver, it's what he DOES !" ...

   I will say, whoever buys my van is getting a really well-maintained, and gently used heavy duty van ... I love that van, it has been just great since I bought it brand-new ... FORD RULES !!!

   after this trip, I won't need the van much longer (hopefully, I won't be missing the Air Conditioner where I'm going !)

   seems like an awful lot of trouble for a visit with a dog, but I would give anything right now, for one of Sybil's big, hairy hugs !

  

call me irresistible !

   Sybil will turn 8 years old on June 21st ! - I won't be there that long, as I don't feel able to delay the trip another couple weeks, but that won't stop her from enjoying an early birthday gift ... gotta think that over, I haven't decided whether she should get sirloin, porterhouse, or prime rib ... decisions, decisions ... she won't care, anything smaller than a water buffalo would be swallowed whole, anyway ...

   her grey wolf blood might prefer an elk, antelope, or moose, or something, but Kroger doesn't stock those, I don't think ... I will check and see ... ya never know, hell, they sell tofu and crap like that !

   my last trip back east, I didn't take any photos like I normally do ... I had just left the hospital after the brain surgery a very few days before, and all my energy was directed at driving and just getting back home ... that has bugged me ever since, it just doesn't seem right for me to not document a road trip, however boring it is ...

   THIS time, I intend to make a better effort, photography-wise ... I'll be giving my good camera to my son while there, and using a much cheaper Nikon pocket camera on the return trip ... it will be interesting to see the difference between the Nikon lens, and the excellent Carl Zeiss lens on my #1 camera ...
    
    the van is all serviced and ready to go (Amsoil Signature oil and filter), greased, and tires checked, etc. ... all that remains to do is a Dr. visit tomorrow, refill some scrips, and fill the ice chest with bottled water, then we'll be ready to roll ... whoops, I said 'we', can't get past the habit yet, I'm still used to the idea of big Sybil over there riding shotgun ... wow, this is a young puppy-pic, I don't know if she can still get her big butt thru the window these days !

just checkin' out the neighborhood !

    I will try to update the Blog during the trip as I can, this will be the very first time I ever had to use WiFi for internet access ... for years, I used a Verizon USB system, but in their never-ending GREED, Verizon no longer uses the same system, and their newer 'hot spot' type of mobile internet just isn't very good - but, never fear, poorer performance didn't stop them from raising their prices ... 

   by the way, anyone looking for CHEAP cellphone and data access company, do yourself a favor, and check out the 'Consumer Cellular' company that advertises on TV ... 
   they use the AT&T and T-Mobile networks, so their coverage area is 'almost' as extensive as Verizon's (99% compared to 98%) ... unless you camp WAY out in the boonies like myself, you would never notice a lapse in reception ... 

   surprisingly, the Consumer Cellular's AT&T network sound quality is quite a bit better than Verizon's here in my  town, lots less background noise, etc. ... I didn't expect that, but that's what has happened ... 

   I also now pay a FRACTION of what I did with Verizon (and, without their lies and constant consumer scams) ... maybe I sound harsh, but with EVERY contact I ever had with Verizon, I always told them that I despised their company, but stayed with them for many years, simply because they had the largest network coverage ... other than that, Verizon SUCKS ! ... 

   ahhh, I feel so much better after I vent about the bad guys !

                            

not there yet, but getting closer !

                                   
  
 

goodbye for now, John ...

   I just received a phone call a few minutes ago - the son of a good friend called to tell me of his dad's passing ...

   John turned 90 last September, and was a very good friend of mine for the last few years ...

   I met John while I camped every summer up in the Feather River Canyon ... John and his wife, Nancy, lived in the tiny (pop. 6, if you got technical) little settlement of Twain ... 

   John was retired from the railroad, and afterwards worked a few more years with a small company that was contracted to run some of the local campgrounds in the Plumas National Forest ...

   I liked John the moment I met him ... for one thing, he was old, and 'old' earns high esteem from me ... 
   
   as Richard Pryor once said, " you don't get to be old, bein' no fool - cemeteries are full of young, dumb people ! "   

   Sybil absolutely idolized John, for John was her adventure companion, the owner of the 'buggy' that led her to adventures up on the mountain ...   

 

Sybil and John return !

 

   Sybil would rush out my front door every morning as soon as the sun started to rise, and lie down with her eyes and ears trained on John's house - his house couldn't be seen from where we camped, about 1/2 mile away, and obscured by heavy forest, but somehow, she would know when he walked out to his shed to get his quad out ...

   she would just go nuts, jumping and flipping around, until me and John would finally stop our yakkin', and then the two of them would take off for an hour or so up the mountain ... John loved Sybil almost as much as I did, and the feeling was mutual ...

   I hope to see you again John, and I ain't far behind ya !

                 God Bless You, my friend,  

                               

John Sherck   1927 - 2017

more rain ...

  
   Kalifornia, for the most part, is on a 7-year rain cycle ... at least, that's what I was told when I moved here in December of '82, and it pretty well has followed that pattern ever since ... for the 6 years between rains, the state (at least, where I lived) can be almost desert-like ...

   about the only thing I miss about Illinois, is the green lawns and forests in the late summers, when everything here is brown and dead ... (but not missed enough to move back, uh-uh !) ...

don't worry 'bout me, I'm plenty warm !

   it's obvious Sybil loves the cold winters there, the humid summers, maybe not so much ... I often wonder how she's dealing with all that flat land, if she's still hunting for a mountain to run up !

   this winter is one of our 'every 7 years' wet, rainy ones ... as the national news showed, the Oroville Dam spillway a few miles away, was a major mess, and luckily didn't get even worse ...

   it's raining again today with several more rainy days forecast for our near future ... plus, the 'Big Melt' of our accumulated mountain snowpack hasn't really begun yet, so there could possibly be more excitement coming our way ...

route 70, near Tobin, Jan. 2017

   my beloved Feather River Canyon road still has round-the-clock work crews cutting back at the mountainsides, necessary to ease future slides ... this 'cutting back' has been ongoing since I moved here in the mid-'80s, but we still have the occasional slide ...

outside Twain, my chosen 'sentimental home'

   nonetheless, the 50-miles or so drive up thru this canyon, is one of the prettiest you can find, and is definitely a 'must-do' for motorcycle riders ... convertibles were built with roads like this in mind, I suspect ...

   Easter is coming up soon, my favorite holiday, and we're looking forward to it ... 

   

Lara Bussey DO rears her head again !

   well, it didn't take long for my laziness to take over - been awhile since I've posted ...

   I had a trip planned to Illinois for the first week of April, that had to be cancelled ... not my doing, I was prepared and anxious to go, probably in the van, or by AMTRAK if I got weaker ...

   I was taking my Dr.'s advice to 'take advantage of whatever energy I have left', but, my trip was cancelled because family determined the weather was going to be cold out there, and I would be 'uncomfortable' ...

   so, I'm uncomfortable here, instead ... and the clock's still ticking ...

   ******************************

   I had a CT-scan of my abdomen last week, and a complete bone scan a couple days later ... the abdomen doesn't look too good, but I won't know until I see the Dr. this coming Friday ...

   unfortunately, we just discovered the SAME Radiologist, or whatever, (Lara S. Bussey DO) that failed to see the large and OBVIOUS cancer tumor & eroded femur on my hip at the Feather River Hospital Emergency Ward when all this started, also read the new bone scan from last week ...

   remember her, she's the one that diagnosed my cancer tumor/femur damage as a 'hip sprain' ... I was told she is a 'floater', that works out of several Radiology Labs, etc. in the area ... they must really be desperate for help !

   needless to say, we are in the process of getting someone else, that's QUALIFIED AND WITH GOOD VISION to take a good look at the new bone scans ... 

   I will NEVER accept any diagnosis determined by Lara Bussey, DO, I can tell you that for damned sure !

   I sure miss my Sybil ...


 

my 2nd-best friend (after Jesus, of course)

   

   

a big failure for me ...

   all the years I was a truckdriver, I was really proud to know that, despite mechanical breakdowns, crazy-bad weather, and God-awful road conditions, one way or another, I would always deliver ON TIME ... it was damned hard most of the time, and almost impossible other times, but I managed to prevail ... it was like my will-power pushed me, I don't know any other explanation ...

   I guess when you don't have a whole lot going on in your life, you focus more on what you DO have, and try to do your best at it ... at least, that's what seemed to work for me ...

   so, this last trip was a very sobering one, in that I failed, and I just have to accept it ...

   I left here on my first leg of the road trip, that being Arizona, on Sunday, right after church ... 

   I did OK for awhile, but it was hard to stay awake ... I got very little sleep Saturday night, as I would wake up with muscle cramps just a few minutes after dozing off ... I mean, EVERYTHING was cramping, every muscle I used to pack up the van ... that lasted all night long, so very little sleep ...

   I managed 377 miles, before I just had to stop ... at a tiny rest area in Nevada, I tried to sleep ...

   not happenin' ! ... I froze my butt off in the back of my non-insulated van, shivering for hours ... that night my tiny little travel trailer seemed like a 4-star Hotel, I'll tell you that !
    
   I could have made it all the way to my spot in Arizona, but it would be just too irresponsible for me to try ... I was concerned I would get there, and not be able to get back home ... that would really complicate things for my survivors ... 

   knowing your death is increasingly imminent gets pretty weird sometimes ... you find yourself more concerned about responsibility to your loved ones, and less about your own plans ... maybe that's just the way it's supposed to be ... 

   I do know, if not for feeling responsibility for my girlfriend, I would simply just keep driving, and die somewhere on the side of the road, I mean, who cares ? ... when I was still trucking, I realized I would never 'retire', I would just be found dead in my truck somewhere ... sometimes, having loved ones is a pain on the ass, you don't get to have as much fun as you used to, haha ...

   so, reluctantly, I texted my friends in Arizona, explained I was just too beat up to make it all the way down, and returned home ... I felt terrible, going home with my tail between my legs, but it couldn't be helped ... 

   the timing for the trip couldn't have been better, as for once, my relatives were all going to be home during my visit ... heck, I even have it on good authority, that Sybil heard I was coming, and took a bath !

clean & shiny !

    I have not yet decided what to do next ... I just CAN'T sit in the recliner, and rot away ... I rushed my AZ trip to fit into a slot between Dr. appointments, tests that mean nothing to me, and friends that would soon be leaving the desert - after all, it was getting HOT down there ! ... while I was freezing in Nevada, I knew I would be sweating like a pig the next day in Arizona ... the hot & cold changes were really gonna be hard on me ...

   so, while a road trip to Illinois & back MAY be do-able, to play it safe, I have to re-consider a possible train trip ... but first, I have to rant !  (I love to rant, as you know) ...

   first, and foremost,   AMTRAK IS A DAMNED DISGRACE !!! 

   there are 3rd world countries that have better train situations than we do, here in America ... I will admit, they seem to have gotten better about arriving within a few hours of the scheduled time, but that was never a serious concern to me ... you can only go so fast on the roller-coaster they call a track ...

   but, there is no excuse for the rudeness of AMTRAK employees ... they are in a class by themselves (a low-class, to be sure) ... they have their comfy Guvment jobs, (subsidized by the taxpayers), so they can do anything they want, and NEVER get fired or punished ... I won't go into the instances I have both observed, and been involved in, here, but I despise AMTRAK employees, even the ones I've never met, that's how bad they are ... RUDE, RUDE, RUDE ! ... is it so hard for them to be courteous to you, while they're ripping you off !

   (an old lady asks the A-hole working the 'snack counter' to reheat the lukewarm food he just handed her from the microwave - "nope, we're only allowed to use the microwave ONE time per purchase, no exceptions ") - what a load of crap ! ... I mean, what the hell does the old girl expect for her $5 'grease-on-a-bun', anyway ? ...

   AMTRAK - another FAILED Government Program ... 

   OK, rant over, I'm done (for now) ...

one last road trip ...

   I've been in kind of a hurry to bring the Blog up to date, as to what has been happening with me the last coupla years ...

   with that now done, I can ease up a bit ... the next few days, I will be busy packing my van, and getting ready for 'one final road trip' ...

   'one final road trip' - the same thing I assumed during the last 3 'final road trips' ...  

   having been told I only had 12-14 months to live (18 months ago), I drove back to my home town of Illinois 3 times in this period of time ... hey, sorry to be so greedy, OK ? ... 

   at least, I escaped the Kalifornia healthcare system for awhile, and got things done properly back east ...

   fortunately, while I was recuperating from my hip surgery in Illinois, my niece and Sybil fell in love with each other ... best way to describe it ... they are inseparable, and Sybil has been guaranteed a loving home for life, a relief to me that I can't over-emphasize ... when told I was a goner, Sybil's welfare immediately came to mind, I really worried about her ... 
   so, this situation has me very pleased, and confident Sybil will be well taken care of after I'm gone ... 

   PLUS, I get occasional photos, videos, and letters from Sybil - she has not forgotten her Daddy ! ...

   

this is one HAPPY girl !

lots of attention to the princess !

   a CITY DOG ?, or a WOLF LOOSE IN THE STREETS OF PEORIA !!! ? can ya believe it ? ... she adapted well, and sure likes the colder weather back there in Illinois ... she really suffered in the heat out west here, but now, she can't wait to go outside and lie on frozen ground ! ... whatever blows her fleas off, I guess !

           ahhhh, 26 degrees, MUCH better !

    back to the 'Plan' - I am heading to our old campsite near Parker, AZ, leaving here in a few days ... 
    depending on how I hold up, it is 'possible' I will continue on to Illinois, 'ONE MORE FINAL ROAD TRIP', but that decision will be awhile off, yet ... 
    
    it sure won't be the same without faithful Sybil by my side ... and, it sure won't feel as safe, either, because now I have to be much more attentive to my surroundings ... 

    'attentive' ain't my middle name, either !
    
    I will miss her 24/7 extra set of eyes and ears, and my own are nothing to brag about these days ... mostly, I will just miss looking over and seeing her sitting there in her seat  (I still haven't washed her old 'wet nose spots' from the inside of the windshield on her side) ... seriously, just can't bring myself to do it, the next owner can take care of that !

     so, I'll go to Arizona to camp for a little while, and see what develops, before deciding on the long leg to Illinois ...


 

back to work ...

    I'm back after my weekend off ... I was going to pause for the weekend anyway, but I happened to have a rough night on Friday, so it's just as well ... 
   normally, I sleep real good, but Friday night was an exception - I kept waking up, feeling short of breath, no big deal, but it was uncomfortable ...

   as I said in the last post, right after arriving in Peoria, IL at my sister's, I started serious nausea and vomiting ... right to the point of passing out ...

   my sister drove me to OSF's Emergency Ward, and they immediately started checking me out ... a CT-scan revealed a serious situation, requiring urgent surgery ...

   remember the brain cyst/tumor that, (despite my cancer history), was determined to be 'insignificant' by a Feather River Hospital 'Doctor' ? ... well, turns out, it was a 'colloidal cyst', blocking the area of my brain, where the brain fluids drain down into the spinal column - that's the best I understand the explanation ...

   a drain tube was placed into my skull to relieve any fluid pressure (and, here I was thinking all that pressure was just from having too much brains, or something) ... hey, it's MY story, I'm tellin' it the way I like !

   after a couple days of draining, I was told I was gonna have a second surgery, similar to the little drain tube I already had ... this second tube was to be placed on the other side of my head, and the brain surgeons would 'suck out' the tumor thru the tubing ... no big deal ...

   as it was, the surgery lasted quite a bit longer than expected, and found out afterwards, it was not 'sucked out', but was chopped up and removed a bit at a time ... either way, it was a success, and a biopsy was taken of the tumor pieces ...

   thank God, it was benign, and not cancerous ... they had no idea why it was there, and suggested it was something that may have been growing in there for years ... (all this time, I suspected 'brain bugs', but I guess not) ...  

    I spent another few days in the hospital after the surgery, no problems, but they wanted to get my sodium levels up ... as it was, my sodium was only down because I was drinking so much water, it was diluting my tests ... 

  

my new Frankenstein look !

        will blame the thinning hair on surgery !

   I returned to my sister's house to get some sleep (try getting sleep in a hospital, HA ! )

   after a couple days snoozing, I hopped into the van on October 3rd, 2016,  and headed west ... since it was beginning to turn cold, I drove the southern route, which enabled me to stop and visit friends that do the 'winter snowbird' thing in Yuma, AZ ...

    I took my time driving west, as I was still recovering from a couple holes drilled in my skull ...

   (one night, I was taking a nap in a little Missouri rest area, one of those with no facilities, mostly just a picnic area) ... a noise woke me up, and I looked to see a Sheriff's car checking me out ... the cop was walking around the van, inspecting it closely when I stuck my stitched-up head out the window and said " something wrong ? " ... when his flashlight beam hit my head, the poor guy jumped, and said " Man ! somebody really worked you over, huh ? " ... "uh, no, I had brain surgery a few days ago" ... haha, that freaked him out, for sure ... we chatted a few minutes, and he radioed in to have any cops passing by during the night, to keep an eye out for me ... 

  a really considerate cop, and I appreciated his professionalism ... 

  I arrived back in Paradise, Kalifornia on October 8th, and went back to my usual routine ...

  I see my cancer Doctor once a month, at which time I do blood labs, and get a shot in my arm - Xgeva, it's called ... it is to protect the bones, so the cancer does not once again invade them ... it normally costs something like $1500 for the monthly injection, but the manufacturer cuts the price, to where I only have to pay a couple hundred bucks per month ... still a lot of money, but it makes it possible ...

   as has been the case in my situation, the drug manufacturers only charge the crazy prices to insurance companies ... since I only have Medicare coverage, and my only income is Social Security, I qualify for the discounts ...

   for one year, I purchased a Medicare Supplemental Insurance Plan from HUMANA ... that was a TOTAL WASTE OF MONEY, and I couldn't wait for the required one year signup to end ...

   on 2 different occasions, HUMANA refused to pay for Authorized Covered Expenses, totally ignoring the 'Pre-Authorization OK' to get some medical work done ...  

   I postponed a neck MRI 3 times, refusing to get the test before I received Pre-Authorization from HUMANA - when the Pre-Authorization finally came thru, I had the MRI done, and HUMANA refused to pay ... period ... 

   where are the Attorneys, you may ask ? ... after at least TWO serious Mis-Diagnosis of my hip cancer, and the brain colloidal cyst, no Attorneys will touch it ...

   I called one of the country's top Attorney Law firms in San Francisco, (Walkup, etc.), the first of many I called ...

   while not taking my case, at least the guy honestly explained why not ... according to him, Kalifornia's current excuse for a Governor, Jerry 'Moonbeam' Brown, signed into law awhile back, that Malpractice suits are limited to $250,000, and since they would only get a percentage of that amount, it just isn't worth it to march into a courtroom and do battle with a hospital's typically large contingency of Attorneys ... 

   he suggested I find a 'local Attorney that's hungry', and see if he'll take it ... no luck there, either, seemingly Attorneys don't want to actually WORK to win a case, they just want money to be thrown at them, so they'll go away ...

   Feather River Hospital, of Paradise, Kalifornia is owned by the 7th Day Adventists, their 'Adventist Health' group ... I think it's safe to assume they have a full complement of Attorneys just waiting to stonewall incoming lawsuits ... we have sent them detailed complaints about the way they run their hospital, etc., but that always goes nowhere, of course ...   

   complaints to the Kalifornia agencies regulating hospitals, etc. reward us with occasional form letters, saying 'we're still investigating it', and asking for some piece of documentation to be sent in to them (for the 2nd or 3rd time, they seem to have a helluva time holding onto documents) ... 

   that's OK, Guvment jerkoffs, I'll be dead soon, and then you can go back to sleep ...

   meanwhile, I am watching the clock tick, and thanking the Lord that I have Him to see next ... I bet He will take my case !