hard week ...

   still alive, still holding a vertical position, but it hasn't been as easy the last few days ... I'm still blessed by not having a lot of pain, just the usual arthritis & muscle aches ... amazing how I can lose all my muscles, but they still hurt, you'd think that would lessen ...
  
   my newest hassle, the last few weeks I have trouble getting my breath, I wake up gasping ... I'm able to breathe deeply, it just seems like I'm not getting enough oxygen ... sitting up helps my breathing a bit, so I try to sleep sitting up, which of course, means I wake up with a sore neck ... 

   this whole 'dying process' kinda sucks, no wonder some people try anything to postpone it ! 

   I'm not the type to 'give up', neither am I the type to try 'cures' out of desperation ... the whole 'fighting cancer' concept is so foreign to me, I can't understand the reasoning ... 
   if your idea of 'fighting cancer' means major surgeries and one drug after another, (that don't cure, but only postpones death), then we're not on the same page ...

   tomorrow, dental surgery to remove a broken molar, then, next week another CT-scan, to check out the progress of my adrenal gland tumor ... my next appointment with my cancer Dr. is the week after that ... he is going to offer me some chemotherapy to try to stall the cancer ...  

   I was originally told there is no chemotherapy that is effective against my type of cancer, and unless this is some new, miraculous wonder drug, I won't allow it ... I have no interest in spending my last days with my head in a wastebasket ... 

   to my way of thinking, that's not 'giving up', that's dying with a bit of dignity, and trusting the Lord to take care of the rest ...

   I spent my life as I pleased, I pretty much did it all on my own terms, and I don't blame anyone else for any of my screw-ups, I did it all of my own will ...

   as I like to say, " I spent the first half of my life raising Hell, and the last half trying to escape it " ... that pretty well sums it up ...

   OK, enough of the serious stuff, now, back to the 'last road trip' ... after driving thru a beautiful stretch of Utah's I-70, I entered Colorado ... 

stormy weather heading in

   Colorado not being one of my favorite states, I seldom take many photos, I pretty much concentrate on just getting thru it, without spending any money there ... too many Yuppies, Millennials, Liberals, and otherwise useless individuals ...
   (why not bring back the military Draft, so the young punks can grow up, before dumping them on the rest of us ?) ... America has gotten so soft, but I really don't want to go there, now ... (end of short rant)

   entering the Free state of Kansas, it's good to be back in Middle America, where I love to stop, take pictures, and even spend a few bucks, before moving on ... I like states like Kansas ...

a clean, quiet Kansas rest area - nap time !

 

 

   after a couple more days of dragging my feet, and napping often, I arrived in Peoria, where I was welcomed by my family, and there in the yard, was my dear Sybil !

doesn't she look great ?!!

   I had a real nice visit with my sister and her family, as always they made me feel very welcome, and I love them all ... I suppose they think I use them as a motel while I visit my Sybil, but that's really not the case, I love being there, and worry about them constantly (Peoria, IL is no Disneyland) ... their life is like everyone else's, 'everybody gets their time in the barrel' ...

Sybil still remembers the old Geezer

    but, they have Sybil to protect them now ! no worries